Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Blogger Has Issues, and So Do I

And we both have had them all week. I'm really considering moving my blog. Maybe they'll aggravate me enough to actually do it. I'm writing this in Notepad, God knows when I'll get to post it.

My issue is complete lack of enthusiasm for getting out of bed in the morning because I really have grown to hate my job. I'm supposed to meet with the legal placement agency woman this afternoon and I'm trying to summon the energy to schlep downtown. I know I need a new job when the days drag like this - I woke up this morning and thought it had to be Thursday. Uh-uh. Bad sign. It's the difference between being "challenged" and just plain aggravated. My job is aggravating but it's not challenging. I am operating on 10% of my brain most days, and I fear that my skills will atrophy and I will be stuck at this level forever.

The moments that require me to use my skills and the praise and good vibes from doing something interesting and intellectually challenging are few and far between, outweighed by the tedious paper-shuffling in the type of cases I always vowed I'd never touch with a stick. Just because a PI case has a construction element on it (somebody tripped and fell on a construction site) doesn't make it a freaking construction case. But that's how our caseload is shifting - more PI crap, less substance. When I came to this firm we had several complex multi-party multi-million dollar construction defect cases - some have been resolved, but more have not taken their place. It does not bode well for the future. It's so bad I honestly found myself thinking yesterday that going back to real estate transactional work would be more interesting than this. And that's BAD.

I am in love with the back extension machine at the gym. It's the answer to a deskbound person's prayers. It feels SOOO good to stretch my back muscles on that thing, I could do it forever. My goal for the month of April: make it to the gym every day. I really do believe that exercise is a mood-lifter, and under the current circumstances I need all the lifting I can get. It may take a while to find a better job, but when I do, I will start it wearing a nice new professional wardrobe in a size 6-8.

The weather has changed, spring has sprung, temps are in the 80s during the day and 60s at night. The formerly green and scummy pond has finally hit the right balance of algae-killers to make the water clear and sparkling. The jasmine is growing so fast you can almost hear it and is loaded with buds. The grass is full of weeds and in dire need of a dose of weed and feed. This weekend must be devoted to yard work.

It's also definitely time to cast on a tank or two. I'm finishing up my 4th Dulaan Project hat, next up will be a simple pinwheel baby blanket for a young friend due next month - also from the stash. Let's hear it for stash depletion - because it clears the deck for stash acquisition. I've plunked down the (non-refundable) cash for the hotel for MDS&W - I'm in. If I should get a new job between now and the first weekend in May, they will just have to understand that I have a pre-paid trip on the calendar. I'm not concerned that this would be an issue, it's only two days.

Wow, the great thing about blogging is it creates an audience for even the most boring rambling - and right now I'm boring and I'm rambling. Who knows when Blogger will allow me to post this? Who cares?

Happy Hump Day. Or whatever.


Mia said...

Sounds like the firm wants to move away from construction cases to PIs. Quick turn around means fast money for them. Their loss. Please post a photo of your pond now that the balance is right. It is still too cold up here for my pond to look good.

Mia said...
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Catherine said...

Well, it's not really like that but to say more would be to reveal too many identifying details. It's a staffing issue, a corporate culture issue, it's a lot of things, but it's not that we make a buck on a particular kind of case vs. another since we're a defense firm. But if another firm is staffed better and is better equipped to get the big juicy cases, they will get them because we are not staffed for it. We have the brains but not the hands to do the work. I'll take a picture of the pond this weekend - I still need to re-work the plumbing, it's ugly, but at least the water is healthy and the fish are happy.