Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ow, my HEAD!

I'm suffering from traffic accident syndrome - it's so awful, you just have to look. The Mommy Wars are so hideous, it blows my mind. Did you know that ALL daycare is bad, any mother who wants to work is SELFISH, (unless she's a Poor Dear Who Has to Work, you know). Did you know you can ALWAYS tell a Daycare Child (insert dramatic piano chords) because they are: (choose any or all) 1) institutional little zombies; 2) wildly aggressive; 3) dirty and neglected; 4) sad and clingy; 5) pushy; 6) and my fave, from the SAHM psych major, no doubt: "have a flat affect." And then these women have the gall to claim working mothers "criticize them" for "putting their family first." I had no idea that the judgmental shit was this harsh. I don't remember this from the 80s, but then, I was busy and we didn't have the Internet.

I'm thinking the board is a great source for "buzzword bingo" or a drinking game - actually, I'd advise against the drinking game unless you want to have your stomach pumped. If you took a shot every time someone said motherhood is a SACRIFICE! you'd be shitfaced in no time. Obviously I really was a terrible mother, I didn't realize I was supposed to be a martyr and had a good time with my kids!

I'm fascinated because it's running while I'm reading FM, and as I said, it's deja vu all over again. Eerily similar to the postwar years, when women were chased back into the home to make jobs for men, using uncannily, I mean, scarily similar "studies" and the force of "peer pressure" because "all the good mommies are doing it." This wouldn't have gotten my attention if not for FM, but now I'm just fascinated.

I'm cheered, however, to have read a very positive story this week about a local major employer (a vacation resort outfit) that added a state of the art onsite day care center to attract and keep quality employees. And of course, I have the years of real life experience with flexible, family friendly employers, and know my friends have similar experiences. But we're freaks, because it's really, really bad out there and women who care at all about their children CAN'T work. Or so I'm told. Ow, my head!


ChelleC said...

I know what you mean about the SAHM mother thing. You are so funny. I bet your kids love having you as a mother, and they seem amazingly healthy for deranged zombies. Ha!

Catherine said...

I was stunned by the venom. Just stunned. Honesty from working mothers is NOT allowed - they have to be MISERABLE about working and WISH they were home, and genuflect with appropriate words. The ones who dare say, "I work because I like it and my kids are fine," are swarmed with nasty, really nasty comments. The control of "Staying home is the RIGHT way and if you vary from it you better be dutifully shamed!" is freakin' scary. It wasn't like this in my world. Somewhere, Betty Friedan is sighing and shaking her head. She called it on the last cycle. Maybe the cult of the housewife is like locusts.