I was in the bathroom. I became aware of Heavy Breathing. I said, "Will you please stop that, you sound like a pervert!" And it stopped, because Murphy realized that I am still alive. I didn't go into the bathroom and die.
Bailey the golden retriever used to think that there was a secret exit from the (windowless in that house) master bathroom. My husband used to encourage this paranoia by telling him, "When you hear the flush, she's gone!"
I need a man to reassure my dog that I am not crawling out the bathroom window. And because it's really sad that the only time I hear sincere, passionate heavy breathing, it's coming from an 8 pound dog.