Friday, September 22, 2006

Bowling in East Jesus

First, I finally identified the voice I hear in my head when I speak with this laryngitis: Harvey Fierstein. I sound exactly like him, minus the Noo Yawk, inside my head. I don't want to know what I sound like outside my head.

My voice is slowly getting better, though Cupcake tells me that this lasts two weeks and I'm just wrapping up week one. Today we had an office outing and went bowling. There are at least three nice bowling alleys within 20 minutes of the office, but we went to one way out in East Jesus. It was a nice place, but, damn. It was not that nice, and it was so far out there in nowhere.

I can't bowl anymore. I am sad about this, because I used to be a good bowler and I used to enjoy it, but it's on the list of things I can't do, like wearing 3 inch heels on a daily basis. My right arm is too screwed up. This was disappointing.

I used to be a damn good bowler, back in the day. I grew up quasi-middle-class redneck, we bowled a lot, it was the thing to do. When my husband was in the Air Force it was one of the few activities that we poor young 20somethings could all afford, so we bowled with AF staff at the Pentagon. I was the one everybody wanted on the team, because I had a hook that could pick up a 7-10 split when the hook was working, and it usually was.

I used to be a damn good bowler. The hook is gone, my wrist is too weak, I can't control it anymore. The weakness between the elbow and the hand is bad enough when opening a jar, controlling a bowling ball, forget it. And you know, I'm okay with this as long as I have my fine motor skills that allow me to type and knit, and I'd rather not risk those by pushing the bowling thing. A career as a pro bowler was never on my to-do list, so it's not like this is a dream crushed, but still, it's a loss of a thing I used to be able to do.

And this is a big round metaphor for all of the things that change in life and that you don't appreciate them until you can't do them and you look around and realize that Oh Fuck I'm Getting Old. And it also triggered a coughing fit that lasted half the afternoon and left me with a sore throat, so it also proves that being a good sport doesn't pay.

Tomorrow I will share pictures of the ugliest sock I've ever made.


Amie said...

Oh, sweetie. Sorry you're blue.

Patricia said...

Sounds like you were a damn good bowler, though.
Cheer up. We're all getting older.

Catherine said...

I'm not that blue, pro bowling was never on my to-do list. It was just an eye-opener to how my arm has weakened, and made me worry about what other changes might follow. I don't need to bowl, I do need to write and knit and make things with my hands. I'm a little deaf in my right ear, my left knee gets really angry if provoked, and I've been extremely nearsighted all of my life. I adapted to all of that years ago. But losing that clean hook into a perfect strike? What the hell is THAT?

KatyaR said...

I have those same problems. My rotator cuffs are all screwed up, so heaving a ball around hurts like crazy. My hands and wrists are messed up, too, and I don't have the strength to hold something that heavy. Then there's the knees, feet, and ankles. About 20 years ago I wanted to start bowling regularly, but I just couldn't do it. Now it would be an impossibility.

As long as I can see and be dextrous enough to knit and sew and spin and do other fun stuff, I don't mind so much. But my eyes are getting so bad that I wonder if it's going to be a problem down the line. The stiffness and soreness in my feet and legs is starting to make me really mad.

If this is middle age, I hate to see what "the golden years" are like--yikes!

Debi said...

Loved the Harvey Firestein reference - I stood next to him at the opening of the Names Project in DC so I know exactly what hel sounds like!

Hunny, we're all getting older...and frankly it's A LOT better than the alternative!

Can't wait to see the sock altho I'm sure it's not ugly! Isn't the LL's Shepherd Sport a dream to knit with? I'm using some in Camo now myself!

Aria said...

ROFLOL about the Air Force and bowling (mostly because I very much remember when I was little and my mother bowled on a league at the base bowling alley... and several other very much AF related bowling memories and stories I've been told) Anyway - your mentioning of the AF in regards to bowling just made me smile because there is such a connection there between the two =)

Catherine said...

Yes, apparently the USAF and bowling go together like Catholic school and playing poker, it's a universal experience.