With apologies to Kipling, and a nod to my father who used to say this while I was growing up:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs...
You probably don't understand the situation.
I will spare you the details of the Mama Drama. It's not pretty. The nursing home actually is quite nice, responsive, they call me often, nice people. Unfortunately, she also calls me often. I wish I had the energy to transcribe the voicemail messages, a third party would find them hilarious - even I can see the humor. She leaves me regular, if you will pardon the expression, voicemail about the state of her bowels (I am not kidding.) I visit every couple of days, when I am there I have observed that she is adjusting okay, she greets people, introduces me, the CNAs appear fond of her - you wouldn't believe it if you heard the Sobbing Calls. I had 3 on my voicemail at the office Tuesday, two yesterday. I talk to her once a day, I am not ignoring her. Last night she called and sobbed during the call while describing something I had no possible way to address, like her bowels, and I was tired and said, "Oh CHRIST, Mom!" and she turned off the sobs like throwing a switch, and was all crisp and clear and lucid, and quite pissy, and decided she would get her pills and go to bed. "Yeah, great idea, you can relax and watch that nice big TV they gave you." (You know, those awful people who are torturing you all day, and your daughter doesn't know even though she is in constant contact with the staff!) I got my revenge by signing her up for restorative nursing care - they will bug her at least 3x a day to eat and do things for herself and this plus the PT she is still refusing to do will annoy the hell out of her. Let's do that for a couple of weeks and see how she responds. If she doesn't get mad enough to cooperate just to show them she can, I will officially let her give up.
I still have no idea what is going on, but I'm wondering how my father lived with her for over 50 years while dealing with prostate cancer, diabetes and a bad heart and survived to 79. I just hope I can outlive her.
Birthday Week has begun early. Yesterday a gift card from Girlchild arrived. I requested it- I don't NEED anything but clothes for work and I have to buy them myself. We are all about the gift cards in immediate family - impersonal hell, get us a card to a store we like and you are done! Today I came home in the rain after a long, slow, wet commute, to a box of flowers on the doorstep from Cousin C, and in my mail was a card from Cousin S and Partner J, and an iTunes gift card. Just when my iTunes freebie balance scored from AmEx card points had fallen low!
I have no major plans for this milestone birthday. I am too tired to care much. Girl and I will do dinner on Saturday, and if she is feeling really generous maybe I will get Granddog for the weekend. He goes to the vet on Monday, and the vet is right near my house, so....
I am crocheting a giant granny square afghan in various shades of blue, in fingering weight. Someday there may be a picture.