Monday, August 11, 2008

And, she's back in the hospital again.

I was driving home this evening when the nurse called from the nursing home - my mother had complained of shortness of breath and chest pains, her oxygen saturation was a little low, so paramedics were called (again). He said she was alert and talking, and the paramedics didn't think it was her heart and blamed it on perhaps being in pain (from what?), but took her to the hospital for tests again.

I did not go. I can't sit around until midnight while they decide what is going on, I have to get up at 5 and work tomorrow. I told them to call me to let me know if she's being admitted or returned to the nursing home. If they do think it's something and admit her, I will figure out a way to be there tomorrow, but right now I'm betting they will send her back to the nursing home.

Honestly, I don't know what to think. I almost hope they do find something wrong with her heart, or something, anything, because I hate like hell to think that this is just an escalation of the Drama. She's been hospitalized 4 times since April, and has had many thousands of dollars of tests, and there is nothing dramatically wrong with her - the c-diff can be serious, I'm not minimizing that, but it's far from life threatening at this point.

So, yeah, I'm not going to rush to her side and sit around in the hospital with her - again. If they need me, my phone is on, but if this was a bid for attention, I can't give that attention.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

She could be having panic attacks. They really do seem like the beginning of a heart attack.

Oh, Catherine... *sighs*

I always hope for the very best for you, and now especially in this stressful situation with your mom.

L

Catherine said...

She could be. But again, this is not something I can fix, so I am leaving it to the medical professionals to diagnose and treat. Her heart is fine. They can't find anything physically wrong. I'm hoping that eventually they will figure out that it is in her head and start treating THAT, but I am distancing myself. I'll do the financial stuff to the best of my ability, but she WANTS me to crawl into her head and "make it all better" at the cost of my own life, and I ain't gonna do that.

CPAKnit said...

Tough decisions to make. You seem to be in a no win situation. No matter what you do, you feel guilty.

Catherine said...

That's exactly it. Though today a few decisions were made for me.