Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Girlchild was working today, and will be working long hours the next few days, so I had a surprise holiday guest:
It was a very relaxing un-Christmas around here. I baked. I made multiple batches of these muffins. It was gray and rainy, and the SciFi Channel had a Star Trek Next Gen marathon, and baking and knitting and relaxing to Worf and Data, et al., was the perfect day. I'd been looking for something small and portable and filling to carry to the office, because I leave the house before 7 and get hungry around 9, so I needed portable and filling and low fat, and goes well with tea. These are wonderfully moist and less than 100 calories, so 2 muffins and some fruit and tea makes a great portable breakfast. I did throw in a fistful of raisins to soak with the oats and milk. I have to get up at 5 to go to work tomorrow, but I will bring two of these lovely muffins and some fruit for breakfast, and that will ease the pain.

I have a subscription to O Magazine; it was free with points earned somewhere, but you know what? This is my second favorite magazine. (Vanity Fair is #1.) The January issue of O Magazine (the one with Skinny Oprah/Fat Oprah on the cover) is chock full of stuff that is relevant to me, and gave me things to think about, things that rang true, about change and self care and taking chances. There was a kerfluffle on Ravelry, as there is whenever Fat Is Mentioned, and a lot of really nasty shit was said about Oprah, and it really makes me tired when women are so quick to attack a successful woman who started with less than nothing and is now a billionaire. Yes, she has an ego, but so does any successful man on her level, and so what? She's a brand name, but a refreshingly honest and self-aware one. Her "confessional" about her weight gain was bleakly honest and refreshingly un-chirpy and "Oh, now I'll just do this diet!" It's damn hard to take good care of oneself when one is really busy with other people's shit. I have been calling 2008 as my Lost Year, lost to everything except taking care of myself and moving my own life forward. But it's coming to an end, and I am in a totally different place than I was last Christmas. I now see how little I really need to be happy.

And so, my goal for 2009 is good self-care, and fun. Because fun is a huge part of good self care. I am such a damn drudge, I can only laugh at myself. My goal for 2009 is to just take life as it comes, and take chances, and sleep more. And continue to sell, give away, donate, and yes, throw out, the stuff that is holding me down.

5 comments:

caroline said...

amen, chica! And merrrry christmas to you and the wee beasties...

Bess said...

Oh la! I knew we were twins. I LOVE Oprah and I bought that issue just because I love the way she faced her fat - my own being such a familiar part of my life. Lovelovelove her. Nya to the grouches.

ellen said...

O is my favorite guilty pleasure magazine (I consider Vanity Fair a necessity!) It's easy to poke fun at her and resent her wealth, but as you pointed out, she earned that with her own two hands. If you're envious get moving!

2008 was so not your lost year. It was your year of learning to let go - a painful process, but you have to do it to move forward. 2009 will be your year of learning to make the choices that suit YOU best, something you have not had the chance to learn.

Catherine said...

"Learning to let go?" My life has been an endless series of lessons in letting go, and I've had more in the last 6 years than most people get in a lifetime! I haven't been holding on to any of it - clawing my way to the surface would be a better analogy. I am now free to make the choices that benefit me; it's a very weird feeling, but exciting. I'm just frustrated by the slowness of it all - I am still stuck with houses to offload in the worst economy since the Depression, and a career path that is in the tank, so I get to find a new one at 50, etc. I know exactly what I have to do, and what I would like to do, and there's no "learning to make choices" about it.

zippiknits said...

It's a good year for all those things. I'm wishing the best for getting lighter, things and just whatever. Oprah is a wonderful gal. You are so right about the pissy envy thing that gets going.