Sorry. It's been a full and exhausting week.
The house has closed. Closed. Done. As in everybody got their docs back and the bank funded and the check is in the hands of that handsome stud in the brown shorts. (And is it just here, or does UPS hire a lot of really goodlooking men everywhere? We occasionally get a kind of ordinary looking guy as a fill-in, but the regulars all range from cute to seriously hot.)
As Boy texted me so eloquently, "Congratulations on surviving the last two years."
I am 50 years old, and for the first time in my life I answer to and am responsible for only myself. How crazy is that?
It really will take a little time to adjust. I had a strange, rough week, realizing the finality of all of this. My parents lived in Spring Hill for 30 years. That's longer than my kids' lifetimes. I never lived in Spring Hill, I had flown the parental coop in MD right about when they decided to move to Florida so it was never home for me, but it was "going to the Grandparents" for my kids' entire lives. I cursed that drive from every angle, because it really was 2 hours of suckage, but now I will never have to do it again. And that is weird. It's even more final than a funeral, in a weird, "maybe it's just me" way. So there is a tug, an untying of knots, a pain to this. Pain and also relief. The relief will take some time to sink in, but believe me, I will appreciate it.
It really has been a hideous year, and the end of a wild 3+ years. Another MDS&W is approaching, and I am planning to attend. The first and last time I got to go was in 2005. Then the second wave of Catherine's Personal Shitstorm started.
In May, 2006, my father was in and out of the hospital, on oxygen and a feeding tube. He died in June.
February 22, 2007, I had a ruptured brain aneurysm and a craniotomy (if we meet at MD, feel free to ask to touch the screw heads in my forehead, and ask yourself, as I have for the last 2 years, why the hell they didn't use flat head screws. I mean, seriously, this would be unacceptable in a fucking K-Mart coffee table.) I had brave thoughts of making the trip that year, but that would have been insane.
Last year around this time, I drove to Spring Hill and took my mother to the ER, because she was feeling poorly, and the rest is history. So, yeah, I've been on a 3 year adventure, if you don't count2005 when I changed jobs to the company that went under in 2007, or 2004 when I got hit by 3 hurricanes, or 2003 when my husband died, or 2001-2003 while he was sick.... shit. I get tired just reading my own history.
But! Onward and upward! The dust has settled on the latest year from hell, I am still employed, I have plans for the future, I have money in the bank, and it's time to become the Most Selfish Bitch Ever and focus on MEEEE! Self-absorbed? I will make Paris Friggin' Hilton look like Mother Teresa!
But first, I will catch up on my rest, and recorded TV shows, and then more rest.