Thursday, June 17, 2010


I'm willing to fess up to the innernets that my nervous tension made it harder to introduce the Dawgs. After I was safely 900something miles away, Girl and Fiance tried it again, and it went like this:

That's Smooch and Layla, becoming BFFs. Girl couldn't get video of them playing chase in the yard - 63 (yes, 63 now) pound Lab and 11 pound Boston Terrier. It was a love fest, and if they had the manual dexterity they'd do each other's nails. They bonded as the two young girls in the household. Dudley was Dudley, but Smooch stood her ground, and no biggie. Murphy did not die of exhaustion keeping the peace.

And this was a learning thing for me - because I was raised to be so cautious and so worried and so "OMG!! Stuff Might Go Wrong, and I Am RESPONSIBLE!" and I'm finally, at the ripe old age of nearly 52, learning to let go of that. I may not be able to just STOP being all wired to worry, but I can recognize it and step back. And damn, this is fun! It will take work, but I can see myself really getting into NOT FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING.

And Smooch is my canary in the coal mine, in terms of my responses. Yesterday, I arrived after a brutally long travel day with mishaps, and I was tired and tense. Smooch was wound up like a rubber band, and all guilty and scared of me. After we all had a good night's sleep, it's fine. I don't need a blood pressure machine. Smooch can tell me when I'm wound up too tight.


Anonymous said...

Remember those fancy bio-feedback thing-a-ma-jigs?

Well, Smooch is much more attractive, charming, and probably a LOT more accurate! Let her help you abdicate the occasional responsibility. Difficult to manage, especially for those of us who are only, or eldest daughters.

Just had a harrowing visit with Dad this morning (Alzheimers). Amazing (and wrenching) the way he can chat along, like the cultured and educated man he is, and make no sense whatsoever.

Gae, in Callala Bay

Catherine said...

Biofeedback! That's the term my brain couldn't find the other day! Yes, Smooch is a four-legged biofeedback machine; she tells me when I'm tense by her response. So sorry about your Dad - that's a terrible and frustrating thing. :(

Anonymous said...

I know how lucky I actually am! he had a very late onset, was 89 before he needed to go into care, and luckiest of all, his personality is unimpaired - he is still his good natured, easygoing kindly SELF. Dementia is not always so gentle.
He will be 91 in mid-December, has low/normal bp, low cholesterol, and needs no (repeat NO) pain medications. Only meds are a low dose of statins and blood thinners with are standard protocol after heart surgery (valve replacement 10 years ago). Pretty amazing, really.
But a couple of siblings would be a help, right now.

Gae, in Callala Bay