while time itself feels like it is picking up speed? I am extremely grateful for weekends, and also conscious that this is a lousy way to live - just enduring five days out of seven, to get to the two I enjoy. And time is moving way too fast when I'm not in the office.
I am spending most hours of my work days staring at a computer screen, immersed in spreadsheets, until my eyes actually cannot focus anymore. My glasses aren't letting me see the tiny boxes on the hated spreadsheets clearly - and these are those fabulous new expensive glasses I got just a few months ago! How could they fail me now, what, four or five months later? I was outraged. Until the other day, when I got a reminder email from the doctor who did the eye exam a YEAR AGO. Yes, a YEAR had passed since my last eye exam. I would have sworn it was maybe six months.
This feeling that time has picked up speed is with me almost all the time lately - not at the office, obviously, but all the rest of the time. I don't like it - I particularly don't like the feeling that the bulk of my waking hours are spent on something that doesn't matter to me at all. Oh, I'm grateful to have a decent job with good benefits, of course, but I am thoroughly sick of what I do for a living, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Months back I impulse purchased this book: Life Reimagined: Discovering Your New Life Possibilities Maybe it's time to read it.
Meanwhile, I'm celebrating the return of Daylight Saving Time, and the end of getting home as it's getting dark. Sophie and I will be taking long evening walks every evening until it's too hot for her, then I'll be walking without her. I have to do this, no excuses, no more lying to myself.
Last weekend I fulfilled one of my 2015 goals and cleaned out all my drawers. I bagged two huge trash bags of raggedy-ass t-shirts and other things I had no business wearing anymore, and in the process I found FIVE pairs of shorts in excellent condition. They are in excellent condition because my ass is too wide to wear them, so they stayed in a drawer all last summer. So I had a decision to make: surrender to the size I am now and put them in the Goodwill bag, or get off said ass and walk off the ten pounds preventing me from wearing them. Oh, and replacing these shorts in my current size would cost...let's see, figure a conservative estimate of $30 a pair, that's $150 wasted. I can think of a dozen other ways to spend that money.
And on that note, it's already almost 9 a.m., and I have meals to plan, groceries to buy, and a walk to take. I'll hit my 100k steps by Wednesday at this rate; my personal goal is to walk over 300K this month. My butt and my budget will thank me.