Thursday, May 21, 2015

Dragging through Mid-Week

I was startled to realize that this weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. Somehow, I was thinking it was the following weekend. May has flown by, even as the days drag horribly.  Work has settled into a semi-tolerable state, so I haven't been very actively looking for a new job, but odd undercurrents are making me think I need to step it up a bit. This is not where I want to be and what I want to do until I'm finally able to semi-retire. I need a better plan.

I wish I didn't have to be so oblique - this is like vaguebooking, and I wish I could be more open about the details, but my industry is a small town.  Let's just say that the company is going through a lot of changes and leave it at that.  My job does not appear to be in jeopardy, but it also is very frustrating and disorganized and exhausting.  And the long commute is wearing me down; the rest of my life is forced to happen in a small window of time between getting home and going to bed, and that's no way to live. I feel like hamster on a wheel at the moment, but I can see actual progress in paying off bills. I have to remind myself frequently that I really am working toward goals, and I am making progress.

Meditation is helping, too. I'm doing a meditation series on balance, and today's advice was to look at the places that life is out of balance, which was somewhat depressing.  Not exercising enough. Not taking enough time for creativity. I need to tweak some time around the edges of my day, and make some room for things that matter.

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