Saturday, May 30, 2015

Oh, Murphy, Yet Again.

Miss D's parents each had to work a little late last night, so I picked her up at school. Sophie was so excited that I brought her favorite little person home from work with me, and we ordered pizza for dinner.  Mom came to get her and ate pizza too, and Murphy begged for soft bits of pizza crust, as always, and then ate a few goldfish crackers before bed.

He woke me at 4:30 a.m., pacing around the house. He was very unsteady on his feet this morning, and seemed confused, but after I took him out I offered him breakfast, and he ate two helpings of chopped chicken and took a long drink of water. He went back to bed. He appears weaker, but he's eating and drinking and doesn't seem to be in any pain, and God knows, he's bounced back so many times by now it's becoming almost comical. I decided not to change my plans for today.

Remember a couple of weeks ago, I said I'd made my last Disney trip for the season?  My daughter talked me into another "one last trip" before the summer blockout weeks kick in. (It took a lot of arm-twisting. She said, "I want to go to Disney this weekend!" and I said, "OH YES! ME TOOO!"  And we were off and running, making plans for the day. We are serious, unapologetic Disnerds.)

We did a few things we'd skipped on our previous trips. Every time we visited Delaney asked to go on the Tomorrowland Speedway, so Mom made a FastPass reservation. Mom had a headache and didn't want to ride, and those race cars are my least favorite thing to do at Disney.  They're smelly and uncomfortable and are only like racing if you are under 9 years old.  Delaney rode with her Daddy and loved it, while Mommy and I visited the gift shops for something for her headache.

And I hadn't been in the Carousel of Progress in, OMG, 20 years? It's as corny as ever. I can wait another 20 to do it again.

Mom and Dad got in a full day of roller coasters, hitting Space Mountain first thing, while Delaney and I went off to ride Buzz Lightyear. I actually enjoy this ride, and Delaney got her highest score yet and earned a promotion, from Star Cadet to Space Scout.  She did this by making a command decision seconds into the ride. Her laser gun wasn't firing right, so she commandeered mine. I fired hers and she was right, it did have a sticky trigger that required more force than she could manage. Identify a problem, make a fast decision to advance her cause - she's a born leader.

It was fun. It was a LONG day again - we arrived before 9 a.m. and left the parking lot for home at 6 p.m.  We were all exhausted.  Delaney still managed to sing in the car on the way home, until she finally grew quiet. She was carried into the house like a sweaty rag doll.

It was a good day.  Hot, but not too crowded. The threatened thunderstorms never happened. The crowd was tolerable.

I felt more than a twinge of guilt about leaving Murphy, but honestly, at this point, what will be, will be. We are beyond medical interventions, and he's not in pain, and I knew that there was a more than fair chance that he'd greet me at the door when I get home this evening, hoping I'd order another pizza.  He did greet me, but didn't eat much, even when I hand fed him.

He seems to be making another gentle bump downhill. He's eating less, sleeping nearly all the time, is confused quite a bit. His eyesight and hearing are poor, but his confusion about what's going on is more noticeable now.  But he ate goldfish crackers after rejecting dinner, and he's obviously in no distress.  What will be, will be.


Karen said...

I think that's all we can hope for, for any of our beloved small ones...that they go out on their terms. Still so hard to go through, but what a life ha's had!

Anonymous said...

I can feel it too, and not just because Ace's death was so recent. The wobbly moments that leave the patient just a little worse off each time, a little weaker, a tad more confused. I just hope Murphy doesn't pull the same trick Ace did (but on the other hand I will never forget the anniversary of Ace's death). Having to put old Ace down on my 71st birthday did not enhance either occasion.
Murphy is amazing, he has been a very important player in significant times of your life, and I regret never having the chance to meet him, and yet I feel I know him well. Bless his contrary Terrier heart.

Gae, in Callala Bay

Catherine said...

My birthday is at the end of the month, Gae, and I'm a little afraid it may be enhanced in a similar way.

Anonymous said...

That is just what I am hoping WILL NOT happen for you.

Ernst will be 81 on the 27th. I have not mentioned this to him, but Fred is showing some very odd, dementia - like behaviour. Snapping at the air - nothing there, just snapping. Truffling his way around the house licking up odd bits and pieces, unfortunately including his own hair. Compared to Fred, a cat dealing with a hairball is a model of decorum and neatness! Forcing us to use the vacuum cleaner more often, dammit!

Gae, in Callala Bay