Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Insomnia.

I've been a poor sleeper my entire life. I can only sigh when I hear stories from my daughter about how Miss D doesn't fall asleep, wakes up in the night, etc. - yeah, sorry, I think she gets that from me. I don't have a lot of clear childhood memories, which in itself is pretty weird, but some of the ones I do retain involve long, dark nights, awake in the dark.

My insomnia has been somewhat under control, thanks to judicious self-medication. A little wine in the evening, followed by a little melatonin when I'm actually ready to go to sleep, and I am usually able to sleep as much as 7 hours without waking up in the night. Yeah, that suddenly quit working. Even on my much longed for days off, I had trouble falling asleep and woke up insanely early, after tense, borderline nightmare dreams about work.

Last night I took my usual melatonin and went to bed before 10, because the alarm would go off at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. I woke before the alarm, which isn't unusual for me - I generally wake up at 4:30 - 4:45, the 5 a.m. alarm is just a back-up. I looked at the clock. 12:45 a.m. I tried meditation, listened to a boring audiobook, and basically tossed and turned for an hour before I fell asleep again. When the alarm went off at 5 I felt (and looked) like hell.

Tonight, we move on to the hard stuff - Benadryl. My sinuses have been bothering me the last couple of days, so it's totally legit. The "sends me to la-la-land" side benefit is a bonus.

But what about my time off, you ask? Relaxing. Had a leisurely lunch with my daughter, and two hours in IKEA. I bought throw pillows and a throw for the Very Ugly Futon. Delaney appreciated it and threw herself on it, happily! My secret plan of making it her occasional napping spot might actually work. Mwah-ha-hah. My daughter (at my request, she's not a sadist) brought over a large box of old family slides, because I had the bright idea that I need to start archiving (or at least pruning) that shit. There must be a couple of thousand slides, and I need to look at every one, so I can throw out the ones of random animals at a petting farm, or extremely average lakes that I can't identify. I'm keeping all of the images of people and pets, no matter how bad, unless they are duplicates. Those will get a second look, but after thoroughly reviewing a few trays, I've already cut the "second look" in half. Oh, and apparently my parents had a session where they took all 2,000 slides and dumped them into the middle of a table, and loaded them back into the trays totally at random. There will be 10 slides of Christmas, 1967, followed by four of random animals at a game farm, followed by two of me in my Easter outfit in 1960, followed by....all in one small rectangular tray. This is going to be a long term project, and that's just the first cut to get rid of the random shots of water buffalo and a few out of focus ducks.

My throat is still sore, and my eyes are tired. Time for early bedtime, and Benadryl, which will both dry my draining sinuses and knock me out. Two more days until a 3 day weekend. I can do this.

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